Of tolerance and diversity, part II

Well, this story's been bounced all over the blogosphere, so it might as well get kicked around here as well. It seems that the brave Dr. James Dobson, head of well-known True Christian® organization Focus on the Family, has discovered and denounced yet another insidious agent of the dreaded Gay Agenda.

Who is it this time? Well, he lives in a pineapple under the sea. And, worse, he holds hands with a starfish. A pink starfish.

That's right. SpongeBob Squarepants is gay, says the newly-appointed Gayfinder General. And a children's video in which he appears, and which is scheduled to be distributed to schools, is nothing less than an insidious plot to promote toleration. It even encourages children to take a tolerance pledge!

Oh, the horror.

Strangely, the folks over at the United Church of Christ seem not to recognize the threat posed by the Yellow Peril. In fact, they go out of their way to extend him an "extravagant welcome", and shamelessly display photographs of him attending their church. Must be because they're a bunch of liberals who just don't understand the True Christian® message of condemnation, exclusion, and death.

Fortunately, the UCC represents only a minority viewpoint, and we have brave men like Dr. Dobson and brave women like President Bush's newly appointed Education Secretary to root out the true sources of evil in our great Christian® Nation.